The MP bought what?!

Latest victim of the recent MP's expenses scandal is Tory MP Peter Viggers. Sorry, Sir Peter Viggers - former lawyer, pilot and banker. And his illicit purchase and subsequent claim? £1,645 on a duck island. Yes, an island for ducks - something a little like this, perhaps:


Now excuse my ignorance, but two questions arise in my mind here. Firstly - how the bloody hell does something like that cost more than a year's University fees (before the 'top up' fees were introduced)?! It's a pile of mud in the midle of a pond. Let's say spade - £10, rubber dinghy - £40, mud - free, a fancy little ornament to amuse ducks - £50. Hmm, we're a bit short of the £1,645. So let's say he doesn't yet have any ducks. A badling of 5 ducks - ...er apologies, I'm not up to scratch on the current RRP of mallards, but they sure as hell don't cost £200 each!

Subsequently and secondly; a duck island...? Really? If I had that much money in my pocket I'd go and spunk it all on booze and hookers (but certainly hide it better than Jacqui Smith did). Someone of a more conservative nature (no pun intended) may buy a small car, a big TV, an Aga, so on and so forth. But a duck island? Jesus, these Tory MPs sure get some cheap kicks.

In his defence, it's not as bad as on Andrew Dismore - this Labour MP managed to claim £6,205 on stationery and postage. That's either 20,000 2nd class stamps, or 620,000 Bic pens.

Remind me never to get into politics.